Stalking

If someone is following you everywhere, sending you unwanted letters and messages, calling you constantly, watching your every move, and asking your family members and friends where you are and what you're doing, that person is a) really, really creepy and b) a stalker.

Stalking is illegal everywhere in the United States. While the statutes on stalking vary from state to state, if someone's behavior is repeatedly making you feel threatened or in danger, it generally is classified as stalking. Even if the person says that it's only out of love or because he or she wants to protect you, such behavior qualifies as stalking if you feel endangered by it.

If the stalking takes place solely online, and neither you nor the person cyberstalking you know each other's true identities, read more about how to handle that situation here. You'll also want to read that section if the person claims to know who you are but has not supplied any proof of actually doing so.

However, if the stalking is NOT taking place online, you are most certainly going to have to take steps to keep yourself safe. Step one, which understandably may not be fun, is to let your parents know what's going on. Tell them what you know about the situation and go to the police together so that you have them there for support. It'll also be necessary for your parents to file the stalking complaint in some states if you are under a certain age.

If you're being stalked via phone, keep track of when you get calls or messages. The police will work with your phone service provider to identify where those calls or messages are coming from and then file charges against the caller. It'd be easy to brush off phone stalking as not really a big deal except that reverse directories exist for both cell and home phone numbers. So if the stalker knows either your cell or home phone number, he or she may have already figured out your full name or your parents' names and your home address. Therefore, you should take being stalked by phone just as seriously as you would if you were being stalked in person.

You should also probably take the precaution of changing your phone number. One bit of good news: it shouldn't be expensive to do so. Of the six major service providers for home phone and cell phone service contacted (Alltel, AT&T/Cingular, Helio, Sprint/Nextel, T-Mobile, and Verizon), only T-Mobile charges a fee ($15.00) to change your number if you are being harassed; and all of them are willing to work with the police.

There have been numerous cases when stalkers have abducted and killed their victims, so please don't try to deal with a stalker by yourself. Let your parents and the police know what's going on so that the situation can be dealt with properly and you are kept safe.

If you have more questions, please e-mail us; you'll find the address for doing so on the Contact Us page. We'll be happy to help you with information more directly related to your specific situation.